A woman confidently looking at her reflection in a hand mirror.
June 27, 2022

5 Rules of Confidence In Dating

Over the years, I have found that successful daters are confident daters, and confident daters, across the board, embody the same 5 characteristics at a minimum. 

If you’ve ever struggled with your self-confidence in your dating life, whether in your dating life or otherwise, I encourage you to learn the following guidelines and begin practicing them today: 

Rule #1: Don’t Compare  

Confident daters do not compare their dating lives to the dating lives of others. That is because true confidence is not about being better or having more than anybody else; it is about not having to compare yourself to anybody else. Any time you notice yourself comparing, bring the focus back to you. You have no control over what anyone else is doing or how they got there; you only have control over yourself. 

Rule #2: Get Clear 

Confident daters are sure about two things: 1) what they want in another person and 2) what they have to offer. Get clear. What are you looking for? What are your values? What is important to you in a partner? What do you bring to the table? What are your strengths? Why would someone be lucky to date you? Knowing these things will both make you feel more secure in your dating life and prevent you from going out with the wrong people. 

Rule #3: Improve Your Weaknesses 

Confident daters are willing to identify and work on their weak points; whether that is their communication, their financial situation, their body, the fact that they’re always late, et cetera. Today’s self-help gurus would have you believe that you are absolutely perfect the way you are right now. That is nonsense. We all have areas of improvement, and actively working on them will increase your confidence.

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Rule #4: Be Honest & Upfront 

Confident daters ask for what they want, say what they are feeling, and make their intentions known. A person who is truly confident has no need to play silly mind games. A confident dater will tell you if they like you – straight up. Because they know what they are looking for and what they have to offer, they are not afraid to express themselves. Practicing this both shows and breeds confidence. Communicate, communicate, communicate. 

Rule #5: Make An Effort  

Confident daters make dating a priority. They respond to texts promptly. They answer phone calls. They initiate and follow through with plans. They look nice and presentable when they show up to dates. These are all indications of self-respect. It is only the insecure daters who play games, act like they’re too busy, put in little effort, waste time, and make you feel like dating is at the bottom of their list of priorities

Remember, true confidence is not something we have, it is something we do; something we learn and practice. The more you practice, the better you will feel.

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