CNC Kink: What, Why, and How

CNC Kink, also known as Rape Play, is one of the most controversial topics in the world of sex. But should it be? Today we’ll explore what CNC actually is, why people enjoy it, and how it works. 

CNC stands for Consensual Non-Consent. In other words, two partners agree (consensual) to engage in a sexual roleplay that centers around forced domination (non-consent), including but not limited to fantasies of rape. The key to CNC is that its foundation has to be deep trust, communication, and prior negotiation & agreement. 

Think of CNC as an extreme interchange of power between two consenting partners. One wishes to experience the rush of being in full unadulterated control, while the other wishes to relinquish every ounce of control in the bedroom. CNC participants often cite that the practice provides not only adrenaline and a turn-on, but also intense self-reflection, connection, and even emotional healing.

Some examples of CNC include being forcefully tied down, blindfolded, teased, touched, or raped. Person A might act out the role of saying No and struggling against their will, while Person B acts out the role of proceeding with the sexual act despite Person A’s desperate pleas. Essentially, it all comes down to a “predator” (dom) who is “overcoming” the “victim” (sub) by “force.”

Related: what is a breeding kink?

Important to note: A safeword – let’s say Grapefruit – should ALWAYS be negotiated beforehand, so if Person A actually dislikes what is occurring, Person A can exclaim “GRAPEFRUIT!” and Person B will immediately know to stop whatever is occurring. 

There has been a great deal of debate on the safety and morality of CNC. Some people will tell you it is dangerous and an aberration of sexual & emotional intimacy. Some may even call it perverse and unethical. Others will tell you it is no different from other kinks or fetishes and it is absolutely fine as long as there is ample communication and agreement. The argument has been made that CNC can actually be safer than regular sex because it encourages, and indeed requires, prior communication, trust, research, and consent. 

Whatever your views, we caution against casting judgments upon others. Whether you are the most kinky or the most vanilla (backlink), or anything in between, there are a few key elements from CNC that we would do well to learn and apply to all forms of sex: 

1) Do your research beforehand; 

2) Do it with someone you truly trust; 

3) Use safewords; 

4) Have a check-in conversation before and after; 

5) Do what makes you happy!

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