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June 27, 2022

Feeling pressure to be funny on dating apps? You're not alone

Welcome, pardners, to the monthly rodeo of reddit dating advice. There will be a lil buckaroo with a problem, a wild stampede of advice, and me, lassoing the standout comments and sorting them into the categories below. 

Original Poster (OP): 

Our OP is disheartened and exhausted, feeling the pressure of being witty and funny over text. They wonder if being witty and funny at the beginning of interactions is setting them up for failure, because they claim that they get ghosted as soon as the jokes dry up.

The Surprisingly Sound


5 days ago

“The seduction teachers of my youth advised the cocky/funny approach as part of a multi-approach system. The point was to switch around a bit to see what gets a good response. The text-only modes of first meeting we use today kind of monkey-wrench that technique but it’s still valid. One should be able to transition from comedy to sincerity, and I hope I can reassure you, that’s the next step on your journey.”


To be honest, I barely read past “the seduction teachers of my youth,” but I’m sure the rest is sound. After all, we can always rely on the sage wisdom of the seduction teachers of our youth to guide us through our dating journeys. 

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The Well-intentioned But Generally Unhelpful To Anyone


5 days ago

That just means she wasn’t that interested in you to begin with... she was only sticking around for the entertainment factor. Nothing more. You did yourself a favor.

Ouch. Maybe true, but not particularly encouraging or helpful to hear. OP spent time and energy charming their lost loves. It hurts to hear that that time and energy were wasted. 

The Garbage Pile Of Unwelcome Sexism


5 days ago

Yeah, I mean, women constantly say, "If you can make me laugh, you're in!" or "I love a man that can makes me laugh"

These ladies make it sound like making them laugh is an equivalent to getting them turned on the same way a hunky, good looking jock turns on certain woman with his looks. Almost orgasmic to them.

I feel like I don’t really have to unpack this one. I will just note that at no point in OP’s lament do they mention their gender or the gender of the people ghosting them. Get out your film slides, because this person is projecting. Sorry about that. 

Bottom line: being funny and witty is great! It can create a foundation of playfulness and rapport in a relationship. Just don’t be afraid to transition to sincerity and honesty when it’s necessary.  Whether you need help with the sincerity or the silliness, we’ve got you covered for both.

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