How to know if you’re dating the right person

Finding a person to date is easy. Finding the right person to date is hard. If you want a reliable, almost-foolproof way to measure whether you should continue seeing the person you’re with right now or whether it's time to jump ship, take a look at the following questions and evaluate your situation honestly. 

One caveat: in the list below, you won’t see questions like “Are you attracted to the person” or “is the person trustworthy,” because those are all a given. You have to date someone you find attractive, respectable, trustworthy, and so on. The following are the questions that people won’t typically ask you, but that often make or break the relationship. 

1. How do you feel around your partner most of the time?

Your answer should be: Mostly good

Your answer should not be: Mostly bad 

2. How does your partner respond when you mess up?

Your answer should be: With love 

Your answer should not be: They make me feel worse

3. How often do you find yourself rationalizing your partner’s behavior?

Your answer should be: Not too often

Your answer should not be: Very often 

4. Do you conceal certain things your partner says from your friends and family out of fear they’d think your partner is bad for you?

Your answer should be: Not really

Your answer should not be: Yes, often

5. Does your partner ever isolate you from your friends and family?

Your answer should be: No 

Your answer should not be: Yes

6. Do/did you love the person you are when you’re with your partner?

Your answer should be: So much! 

Your answer should not be: Not really 

7. Would you encourage your best friend or loved one to be in the situation you’re in now?

Your answer should be: 100%

Your answer should not be: Definitely not 

8. How do you feel when you are apart from your partner?

Your answer should be: Safe, secure, and calm

Your answer should not be: Anxious, frustrated, alone 

9. Do you truly respect your partner as a person? Would you want your child to be like him/her/them?

Your answer should be: Overall, yes 

Your answer should not be: Overall, probably not 

10. How does your partner communicate with you when there is an issue?

Your answer should be: They listen, take responsibility, and work through it maturely 

Your answer should not be: They get defensive, blame me, lose their temper, and/or clam up 

If most of your answers fall into the “your answer should be” category rather than the “your answer should not be” category, then go forth and conquer! If it is the other way around, then save yourself some time and heartache and find someone with whom you are more compatible. Finally, if you’re not sure, feel free to reach out to one of our Dating coaches and we’ll help get you on the right track. 

Kevin from the Keys Team 

Professional Dating & Relationship Coach