How To Start A Conversation With A Man On Tinder

Wondering how to grab a guy’s attention on Tinder and other dating apps? Here’s what you need to know. 

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Starting a conversation on a dating app is easy – all you need to do is send a message. Starting a good conversation on a dating app – a conversation that leads somewhere – is a different story. 

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We can define a “successful conversation on a dating app” as meeting any (but not necessarily all) of the following criteria: 

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1. You are both engaged in the conversation, sharing, and asking questions; it's not boring or transactional 
2. The conversation is flowing smoothly and consistently; there are no 3-day lulls in between messages 
3. You are able to exchange phone numbers and/or plan to meet up; it actually leads somewhere 

If your goal when having a conversation on Tinder is to hit any or all of the metrics above, then how you start the conversation is perhaps the most important part of the process.

Dating apps are a cutthroat battleground for who can hook and reel in another person’s attention most efficiently and effectively. In real life, if you mess up your “opening act,” you may be able to redeem yourself and still keep a conversation going by virtue of the fact that there’s another person standing there in front of you. On a dating app, you’ve got one, maybe two shots at starting the conversation in a way that commands the other person’s interest before they decide “Nah, onto the next.” Because they’re not physically standing there, they can write you off and “walk away” much more easily. 

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Keep the following info in your back pocket, and you should be golden. 

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Starting a conversation with a man on a dating app is truly all about being dynamic. If you open the conversation with “Hey” or “How are you,” there is virtually nothing for a guy to do with that. But if you start the conversation with a funny line, an engaging question, or something interesting about yourself, now you’ve given him some material that he can actually engage with. Differentiate yourself from all of the boring, generic openers that men on dating apps hear all the time. Be fascinated and fascinating – be interested in learning about him, and be an interesting person to talk to. 

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Luckily for you, at Keys we have curated hundreds of fantastic opening lines that are the antithesis of boring or generic. We hand-craft every line with the intention of being dynamic, endearing, and captivating. And if our handwritten lines don’t do it for you, you can utilize our incredible AI feature which will generate brand new lines for you on-demand in real time. 

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Having said that, keep in mind the following crucial 3 tips for starting the conversation: 

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1. Use their photos to your advantage. It is always a great idea to say something interesting about one of the photos a person has on their profile. Try to separate yourself by making a comment or asking a question that 1000 other people haven’t already asked. For example, if they post a nice photo of themselves traveling, “where was that photo taken?” is a stale and boring question. Instead, try “how does this place stack up against the best places you’ve ever traveled to?” or “You look pretty happy in this photo, so I’m assuming your luggage wasn’t lost at the airport. I do not recommend it.” Men also generally enjoy having their ego stroked once in a while, so don’t be afraid to give a subtle compliment about how they look in their shirtless photo or on their fishing boat – cuz we know every guy on tinder has a shirtless pic and a fishing photo. 

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2. Humor always works. Say something light and funny in the beginning; you’ll get to all the serious stuff later. Men are always working hard to make their date laugh. If you can shoulder some of that burden and make him laugh, he’ll love you forever. Plus, you are giving him funny material that he can use to banter back with you. My personal-favorite funny opening lines are in Openers > Dog, Travel, and Seasonal. 

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3. Ask and state intentions. Feel free to ask “So what brings you to the dating apps?” or “I hope you don’t mind my asking, what are you looking for here?” And of course, respond by telling them your intentions. Whether you’re looking for a random hookup, marriage & kids, or anything in between, tell them and be truthful. Don’t assume that just because you’re talking to a man, he is only looking for a one-night stand. Ask him and tell him what you’re here for. You wouldn’t want someone to mislead you and waste your time, so don’t do that to him. Men are very direct creatures; don’t beat around the bush. Furthermore, there is no point in keeping a conversation going for 3 days, exchanging information, and going on a few dates, only to find out that you are on completely different pages and want completely different things. 

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With these pointers and Keys at your fingertips, there is no reason why your opening shouldn’t be a slam dunk! Good luck out there!