Two people looking at a phone screen, discussing how to respond to a text message
August 18, 2022

How To Start A Conversation With A Man Or Woman Over Text

Wondering how to hook his or her attention over text message? Here’s what you need to know. 

Starting a conversation over text is easy – all you need to do is send a message. Starting a good conversation over text – a conversation that is engaging and actually leads somewhere – is a different story. 

We can define successfully starting a text convo as meeting any (but not necessarily all) of the following criteria: 

  1. Both parties are engaged in the conversation, sharing, and asking questions; it's not boring or transactional 
  2. The conversation is flowing smoothly and consistently; there are no 3-day lulls in between messages 
  3. You are able to exchange phone numbers and/or plan to meet up; it actually leads somewhere 

If your goal when starting a text convo is to hit any or all of the metrics above, then keep the following info in your back pocket and you should be golden. 

Starting a good text conversation is truly an art. with a woman on a dating app is truly all about balance. You want to distinguish yourself and stick out from the rest, but you don’t want to try too hard. You want to be funny and show a good sense of humor, but you also want to be taken seriously. You want to be flirtatious and playful, but you also want to be respectful and appropriate. Your challenge is to keep everything in balance while still being engaging and dynamic. 

Luckily for you, at Keys we have curated hundreds of fantastic opening lines that strike the balance well, are engaging and funny, and can suit any occasion. And if our handwritten lines don’t do it for you, you can utilize our incredible AI feature which will generate brand new lines for you on-demand in real time. 

On dating apps? You need Keys.

Talking about your preferences can be hard, especially with a new match - that’s why we built Keys. Keys helps you have better conversations by suggesting opening lines and perfect responses.
Learn what Keys can do for you

Having said that, keep in mind the following crucial 3 tips for starting the conversation: 

  1. Use their photos to your advantage. It is always a great idea to say something interesting about one of the photos a person has on their profile. Feel free to give a genuine compliment that isn’t overused. Try to separate yourself by making a comment or asking a question that 1000 other people haven’t already asked. For example, if they post a nice photo of themselves traveling, “where was that photo taken?” is a stale and boring question. Instead, try “how does this place stack up against the best places you’ve ever traveled to?” or “You look pretty happy in this photo, so I’m assuming your luggage wasn’t lost at the airport.” PS, if you are talking to a woman, try to avoid making comments about her looks such as “wow you’re so beautiful” – she has heard that 10,000 times. Do not make sexual passes at her about her photos.

  1. Humor always works. Say something light and funny in the beginning; you’ll get to all the serious stuff later. If you can make someone laugh, you’ve won a chance at keeping the conversation going. My personal-favorite funny opening lines are in Openers > Dog, Travel, and Seasonal. If you are talking to a man, he’ll appreciate this especially because men have to work hard to make their dates laugh – it's nice to be on the receiving end sometimes. And if you’re talking to a woman, well, the way to her heart is through laughter. She’ll come if you are honest, respectful, attractive, and kind, but she’ll stay if you are funny as hell. 

  1. Ask and state intentions. Feel free to ask “So what brings you to the dating apps?” or “I hope you don’t mind my asking, what are you looking for here?” And of course, respond by telling them your intentions. Whether you’re looking for a random hookup, marriage & kids, or anything in between, tell them and be truthful. If you’re talking to a man, don’t assume that just because he is a man he is only looking for a casual hookup. If you’re talking to a woman, don’t assume that just because she is a woman she is looking for a committed relationship. Ask the person and tell them what you’re here for. You wouldn’t want someone to mislead you and waste your time, so don’t do that to them. Everyone appreciates it when you are forthcoming and honest – it shows respect for their time. Furthermore, there is no point in keeping a conversation going for 3 days, exchanging information, and going on a few dates, only to find out that you are on completely different pages and want completely different things. 

With these pointers and Keys at your fingertips, there is no reason why you shouldn’t be able to open and carry on a great text conversation. Good luck out there!

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