How To Start A Conversation With A Woman On Tinder

Wondering how to catch a gal’s attention on Tinder and other dating apps? Here’s what you need to know. 

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Starting a conversation on a dating app is easy – all you need to do is send a message. Starting a good conversation on a dating app – a conversation that leads somewhere – is a different story. 

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We can define a “successful conversation on a dating app” as meeting any (but not necessarily all) of the following criteria: 

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1. You are both engaged in the conversation, sharing, and asking questions; it's not boring or transactional 
2. The conversation is flowing smoothly and consistently; there are no 3-day lulls in between messages 
3. You are able to exchange phone numbers and/or plan to meet up; it actually leads somewhere 

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If your goal when having a conversation on Tinder is to hit any or all of the metrics above, then how you start the conversation is perhaps the most important part of the process. 

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Dating apps are a cutthroat battleground for who can hook and reel in another person’s attention most efficiently and effectively. In real life, if you mess up your “opening act,” you may be able to redeem yourself and still keep a conversation going by virtue of the fact that there’s another person standing there in front of you. On a dating app, you’ve got one, maybe two shots at starting the conversation in a way that commands the other person’s interest before they decide “Nah, onto the next.” Because they’re not physically standing there, they can write you off and “walk away” much more easily.

Keep the following info in your back pocket, and you should be golden. 

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Starting a conversation with a woman on a dating app is truly all about balance. Women like to be pleased, but they don’t want a pleaser. Women like someone who can make them laugh, but you also want to be taken seriously. Women like someone who is flirtatious and playful, but you cannot come across as aggressive or inappropriate. It is all a game of distinguishing yourself and getting her to look at you, without trying too hard or being too obvious. 

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Luckily for you, at Keys we have curated hundreds of fantastic opening lines that strike the balance properly and suit any occasion. And if our handwritten lines don’t do it for you, you can utilize our incredible AI feature which will generate brand new lines for you on-demand in real time. With Keys, there is no reason why your opening shouldn’t be a slam dunk.

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Having said that, keep in mind the following crucial 3 tips for starting the conversation: 

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1. Use their photos to your advantage. It is always a great idea to say something interesting about one of the photos a person has on their profile. Try to separate yourself by making a comment or asking a question that 1000 other people haven’t already asked. For example, if they post a nice photo of themselves traveling, “where was that photo taken?” is a stale and boring question. Instead, try “how does this place stack up against the best places you’ve ever traveled to?” or “You look pretty happy in this photo, so I’m assuming your luggage wasn’t lost at the airport. I do not recommend it.” When it comes to a woman’s photos on her dating app profile, try to avoid making comments about her looks such as “wow you’re so beautiful” – she has heard that 10,000 times. And most importantly, DO NOT make sexual passes at her about her photos. As a general rule, women on dating apps hate this and do not wish for their photos to be treated as a meat market. 

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2. Humor always works. Say something light and funny in the beginning; you’ll get to all the serious stuff later. If you can make someone laugh, you’ve won a chance at keeping the conversation going. My personal-favorite funny opening lines are in Openers > Dog, Travel, and Seasonal. Remember, the way to a woman’s heart is through laughter. She’ll come if you are honest, respectful, attractive, and kind, but she’ll stay if you are funny as hell. 

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3. Ask and state intentions. Feel free to ask “So what brings you to the dating apps?” or “I hope you don’t mind my asking, what are you looking for here?” And of course, respond by telling them your intentions. Whether you’re looking for a random hookup, marriage & kids, or anything in between, tell them and be truthful. Don’t assume that just because you’re talking to a woman, she is looking for a committed relationship. Ask her and tell her what you’re here for. You wouldn’t want someone to mislead you and waste your time, so don’t do that to them. Women appreciate it when you are forthcoming and honest – it shows that you are a mensch. Furthermore, there is no point in keeping a conversation going for 3 days, exchanging information, and going on a few dates, only to find out that you are on completely different pages and want completely different things. 

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With these pointers and Keys at your fingertips, there is no reason why your opening shouldn’t be a slam dunk! Good luck out there!