Is Degradation Kink Wrong?

What is it?

Take talking dirty, multiply it by 11, make it intentionally shocking and degrading, and there you have it: Degradation Kink (also known as Degrading Kink). This is the consensual practice of using derogatory names and phrases (bitch, whore, idiot, et cetera) to humiliate and degrade your partner during sex. Intended to be consensual and satisfying for both partners, DK gives slut-shaming an entirely new definition. 

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Like CNC Kink, DK is an understandably controversial subject. Is it ok to degrade your partner in bed? Isn’t it wrong to dehumanize someone you love and respect? 

The answer is: It depends on your definition of OK.

We don’t know the dynamic between two people who enjoy DK. We don’t know if the degrader actually has bad intentions or not, and we don’t know if the degradee actually enjoys it or not. And because we don’t know, we cannot pass a blanket judgment as to what is right and wrong. As long as it is safe, legal, and consensual, we’ll leave each to their own and let you decide. 

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Some arguments for DK: 

• It is not sexual abuse or mysoginy 
• It can be cathartic for both the giver and the receiver 
• Like other fetishes, it can lead to a deeper trust and intimacy 
• Ownership and domination are natural desires of human sexuality
• If two people consent to it, who cares 

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Some arguments against DK: 

• It is abusive and disrespectful 
• It is abuse cloaked as a fetish 
• An unequal power dynamic is created when one partner is “owned”
• It can cause trauma for future relationships 
• It causes low self-esteem outside of the bedroom 

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What do you think? Text us and let us know!

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Kevin Nahai from the Keys Team 

Dating & Relationship Coach 

IG: @ KevinNahai