A hand in a handcuff holding a rose against a pink backdrop.
April 12, 2022

Kink Definition: Are You Kinky Or Vanilla?

The dictionary definition of “kink” is a sharp twist or curve in something that is otherwise straight & narrow. Applied to world of sex, the term fits perfectly: A kink is an unconventional or eccentric sexual behavior or fantasy, something that deviates from the “norm.” 


Those who consider themselves “kinky” are turned on by all sorts of unconventional sexual practices, positions, and concepts: including CNC, RACK, Humiliation, Shibari Rope, Mommy Kink, Daddy Kink, Praise Kink, Alt Porn, and more. The most commonly known form of Kink is BDSM, which stands for Bondage & Discipline (BD), Dominance & Submission (DS), SadoMasochism (SM). 


Then there are those who consider themselves “Vanilla” or “Straight,” who tend to prefer more commonly accepted and less adventurous sexual behaviors: warm & affectionate, conventional foreplay, traditional lovemaking in the missionary position, and so forth.

A phone with hinge open and Keys AI working in the bottom
Wondering how to break the ice?
Don’t wonder. Let Keys AI suggest the perfect opener — for free.
Thank you! Your submission has been received!
Oops! Something went wrong while submitting the form.
Download from the Apple App Store

The interesting thing is that the lines between what is considered Vanilla and what is considered Kinky have become increasingly blurred. For example, some consider handcuffing, blindfolding, and light choking to be pretty Vanilla in this day and age, whereas others would say those practices are definitely Kinky. 


The psychology behind Kink is also fascinating. How does a person become Kinky? Sexual kinks are often the result of childhood experiences, memories, and interests that are then explored or revisited through a sexual lens later in life. Sometimes the development of Kink has nothing to do with childhood, but is developed instead through interest in and exposure to new sexual frontiers. 


It doesn’t matter what you’re into. Whether you’re kinky, vanilla, or anything in between, you should never feel ashamed or stigmatized for your sexual preferences. Perhaps you don’t even know what you’re into, and that’s okay too. All that matters is that your sex is consensual, enjoyable, and safe – mentally, physically, and emotionally. With a person who loves you and respects you, take the time to discover your body and learn what you enjoy. Be safe and have fun!

Was this useful? Put it to the test in your favorite dating app
Tinder Icon
Bumble Icon
Hinge Icon
CareersTerms of ServicePrivacyContact