The Ghosting Manifesto
What is the absolute worst thing you can do to someone you are dating?
Hit them, cheat on them, or otherwise abuse them (physically or emotionally).
What is the second-worst thing you can do to someone you are dating?
Seriously, it is that bad. And unfortunately, our modern dating culture promotes it.
The new era of dating apps brought a plethora of opportunities for people to meet and connect; but it also ushered in a culture of being uncommunicative and noncommittal. Why? Because if you don’t like something that someone said or did, you can just click X and swipe onto the next one. No need to muster up the decency or courage to tell the person politely that you are no longer interested in them. Right?
Wrong. Here at Keys, we have a zero-tolerance policy for ghosting. Seldom is the case where it is acceptable to radio-silence someone. Assume there is absolutely no excuse for it in 98.5% of cases.
It doesn’t matter if you’ve been talking to someone for a day, a week, a month, or a year. For two reasons:
First of all, because to ghost someone shows a complete disregard for their time and feelings, and more importantly, it displays a lack of class and sophistication on your part. If you hate being ghosted, don’t do it to others. Even if you don’t hate being ghosted, don’t do it to others.
Secondly, because it is so easy not to ghost. It takes two seconds to do the right thing. Here are some easy examples you can pick from:
- Hey, I’ve enjoyed talking to you but I don’t feel that we are a match. I’m wishing you the best of luck.
- Hey, I think you’re a really cool person but I don’t see you in a romantic light. I hope you find your match!
- Hey, I appreciate the time we spent together but I don’t see this progressing past this point. I think it is best that we not communicate anymore. I hope you will understand.
Boom! One message. How easy was that? You can now clear your conscience and know that you have done the right thing.
By the way, here at Keys we also have a zero-tolerance for being ghosted. If you have been ghosted, we encourage you to choose one of our lines from Connect → Reignite, Connect → Salvage, and/or Disconnect → Ghosted.
Sorry to be a negative nancy on this one, but we had to say it louder for the people in the back. And the front. And everywhere. No ghosting; we’re all better than that.
Kevin from the Keys Team
Professional Dating & Relationship Coach