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January 10, 2022

Understanding Compatibility

If you’re trying to decide whether or not to move forward with a certain person, you need to determine your compatibility with them. Everyone wants someone who is good looking, kind, smart, et cetera -- but compatibility is based both on what you want in a person and on what you need in a relationship. Take a look inside and ask yourself, honestly, what your needs are. 

We always start by thinking about what type of person we want to be with, but that question has to come second; first, we have to ask ourselves what type of person we want to be. You must know what your own ship is made of and where it is heading before you start taking on passengers. 

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What is your direction? What is your lifestyle? What are your values? What is your attachment style?

Do you need a lot of personal space, or a lot of attention? Do you work better with someone who is more shy and reserved, or someone who is more dominant and in control? Do you need a person with more modern values or more traditional values? And so forth. 

Give some thought to your own needs and what type of person you are; then, talk to your potential date and let them show you who they are. Whether or not you’re a match will become clear.

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