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January 10, 2022

Wondering if they’re serious about dating you? Look for these 3 signs.

The beauty of today’s dating app world is that we have hundreds of opportunities to meet people at any one time. This expands our dating horizons and exposes us to people we might never otherwise meet. 


The downfall of today’s dating app world is that we have hundreds of opportunities to meet people at any one time. This encourages us to be completely non-committal, and makes it very difficult to decipher who is seriously ready to date and who is not. 


Thankfully, there are still some telltale signs that someone is serious about getting to know you and you aren’t just another number in their rolodex. These three signs came long before dating apps ever existed and have been tested + proven over time, so pay close attention: 


1) They are Responsive and Reliable. 

  • They respond to you in a consistent, timely manner. 
  • They do not ghost you or leave you hanging. 
  • If they haven’t been able to respond for a long time, they say sorry. 
  • They call when they say they’re going to call. 
  • They show up when they say they are going to show up. 
  • Their communication and behavior are consistent and aligned.

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2) They are Fascinated and Engaged. 

  • They find you fascinating. 
  • They ask you questions about yourself more than (or at least as much as) they talk about themselves. 
  • They show authentic desire to learn more about who you are. 
  • They put their phone away when they are talking to you to show that they are engaged.
  • They listen and pay close attention when you talk. Because they want to hear what is coming out of your mouth. 

3) Their Timing is appropriate. 

  • They are not pushing you to move too quickly; you’re neither getting naked on the 2nd date nor eloping to Vegas after two weeks of knowing each other.
  • They are not dragging their ass and moving too slowly; you’re not waiting 36 hours in between messages or 3 weeks in between dates. 
  • It is the right time for them to date: they are not juggling a psycho ex-spouse, 3 small kids, a new career, a lawsuit, and a flat tire all while trying to get to know you. You are meeting each other at a stable and appropriate time in each other’s lives. 

There’s an old adage that says “if they wanted to, they would.” If he wanted to see me, he would make plans! If she wanted to get to know me, she would stop talking about herself all the time! Maybe that’s true, maybe not...people are complex, and we’re not mind readers. What I do know is that if they show you that they’re responsive and reliable, fascinated and engaged, and their timing is appropriate, they mean business. 

And by the way, it is only in the modern dating era that these 3 standards seem like a high bar to reach; these are minimum-requirement-indicators of whether or not someone is serious about you. It is not too much to ask.

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