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April 8, 2022

You have a friend crush on your (best?) friend. What now?

Do you have a crush on your (best) friend? You’ve come to the right place.

The dreaded friend crush. When you have a crush on someone that you are friends with, especially if it is your best friend, it can be very confusing and scary. It's often hard to know if your friend has a crush on you too, or whether they just think of you as a friend. You want to be close to him or her, but that desire can lead you to do stupid things. How do you know if you have a crush on this person? How can you tell them about your feelings? And once you do so, how can you deal with the possible outcome?

The first thing to realize is that there is nothing wrong with having feelings for someone who is a friend of yours.

Having feelings for a friend can be really confusing if you're not even sure how they would feel about you or if they are interested in you in other ways. You might worry that your friendship could get ruined if they reject you or that they might not want to be friends anymore because of it. That's not necessarily true. A lot of people do date their best friends and still end up having a long term friendship after they break up.

It can also be hard to approach someone when you have feelings for them because if they don't feel the same way, it could make the friendship awkward. But if you don't tell them how you feel eventually, things could always be weird between the two of you and there is no way to know for sure whether or not they feel the same way about you until it is too late!

If your friend likes you back, then there shouldn't be any reason why the two of you couldn't date and still remain great friends in the long run.

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Is it okay to ask them out?

Yes! When it comes to a friend, it’s best to do so in an open, direct manner. Tell them how you feel, and ask if they have similar feelings towards you. Don't assume they feel the same way about you or that they will act on them if they are—you should take the initiative to tell them how you feel.

How do I ask my friend out?

There are lots of ways to ask someone out. It is trickier when that someone is your friend. Simply asking like, "Do you want to go out sometime?" could be misinterpreted to be a non-romantic date. When they say “Yes!” you might feel elated, when for them, it is just another opportunity to spend time with their friend. Instead, be more specific in your ask. Try “I need ask you something, it’s important to me. I’ve been developing feelings for you and I’m wondering if you have been too?” or "If I asked you out on a romantic date, what would your answer be?" But whatever you do, make sure your question is clear and be prepared to have a conversation about your feelings.

Do I have a chance?

Only you know the answer to this question. There's no right or wrong answer here — all that matters is if YOU think there's a chance. If there isn't, then forget about it and move on with your life! But if there is, why not give it a try?

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