It’s 2022: meeting on dating apps is the new normal. Meeting online has been the #1 most common way couple meet since 2017, representing 40% of all couples. The first question people have when they start using these apps is: “How do I break the ice?”
Let’s face it: the majority of people will get overwhelmed with the infinitude of choices, and end up default to a lame “Hey” opener (or, even worse, a “👋🏼”). No matter how cute your pics are, that’s a surefire way to throw cold water on ANY spark of attraction.
That’s why we were so encouraged to see Amanda Chatel’s piece in Shape Magazine, The Best Openers to Use on Any Dating App (https://www.shape.com/lifestyle/sex-and-love/best-dating-app-openers). At Keys, we pride ourselves on breaking the ice – after all, we’re the first AI-powered conversational tool, well…ever.
We were a little let down, however, that so many of the lines in Chatel’s piece were just retreads of existing dating cliches. For sure, they were better than “Hey”. But could they be improved by Keys’ AI proprietary system?
We set it loose and, well…we’ll let you be the judge of the below outputs. But if you ask us, the best opener to use on any dating app is Keys AI.
This only requires a one-word answer, which is often what you’ll get. Something with more mystery and intrigue is going to yield a better convo.
Puts WAY too much pressure on your match right out of the gate. Your match is more likely to simply not reply than launch into a high-pressure response. The Keys line below introduces curiosity and intrigue.
And? This again shifts the burden of work onto your match, which if you actually want a reply, is a recipe for disaster.
Snore. This is a great opener if you’re looking to be penpals. Again, Keys introduces more curiosity to keep the conversational momentum high.
Boring, and not leading into flirtation. The Keys improvement below starts a fun adventure role-play conversation.
Leads to analysis paralysis. There are infinitybillion emojis: are we trying to make things hard on our match?
We recommend you stay away from “How about that local sports team” cliche. Many people won’t get that you’re trying to be deeply ironic. You WERE trying to be deeply ironic, right…?
Okay, we admit: Dad jokes can work. This one isn’t bad.
The food theme does indeed elicit a high response rate. But this opener narrows the conversation possibilities rather than broadening them. The Keys improvement below is both a double entendre and asks for some personal description from within a VERY intimate part of one’s house, sure to spark more in-depth and meaningful conversation.
Cons: comes across as thirsty and desperate. You need to show you have at least SOME standards for who you invest time and money in (even if you have none). Seek to establish some kind of aligned intentions BEFORE inviting the person to invest a whole evening (and $20+?) with you.
Now this …this is an important question. Not even the best AI on the planet could improve on it.
Most likely response: “Cool. Yes I surf.” Statements, especially straightforward statements like this one, shift the burden of work to your match. You have given them virtually nothing to work with. The Keys version below asks for a story, instead.
Prompts one-word answers leading to conversational stagnation.
Likely answer “Lol thanks”. Conversation over.
Some may respond to this gambit, although the stakes are very low on a dating app.
(Bonus: if they have somehow never played Truth or Dare, you can suggest the two of you get into a game on your first date)
Not a bad question as far as it goes, but it lends itself too easily to one-word answers. Simply adding “...and why” is more psychologically revealing. To boost your response rate even further, give them a multiple choice option.
Hyper cliche and doesn’t reveal much about them apart from who they think they look like physically.
Puts a HUGE burden of work on your match. By going first yourself instead, you’re actually giving them a gift, which invites reciprocation, rather than just demanding psychoanalysis of the bat.
We already know the answer to this….it’s this one.
(Bonus: this not only tells you about them by inference, it gives you a new line you can use on future matches :)
Factual requests for information (“where was that?”) are boring – we can do better!
This is more psychologically revealing than simply asking them WHERE they were.
Again, placing a large burden of effort on your match is HIGHLY unlikely to work in the real world, as anyone who’s spent any amount of time on dating apps knows. Some apps (Bumble) already build two truths and a lie into the profile. If they don’t, just send over your 2 truths and 1 lie and ask them to guess. This does not require too much investment from them, but still gets them engaged in a conversation. Then you can prompt them to play along from their side.
Dark. Tilts the conversation in a very negative direction. People on dating apps need more positivity, not more negativity.
Again, places the burden of effort on your match. If you happen to be a perfect 10 or A-list Hollywood celebrity, people will respond to this question. For us mere mortals, multiple-choice questions work much better. The below Keys opener gets more into your matches’ personality and social tendencies.