May 10, 2021

Don't overthink it

We’ve all been there; you matched with someone WAY out of your league and now you’re just staring at their profile picture, trying desperately to think of a way to break the ice. It needs to be something memorable, something interesting enough that they want to respond. Something that’s witty without coming off as contrived, funny without the elbow-in-the-ribs “get it??” moment, flirty without being too aggressive (or maybe they’re into that?).

Basically, you’re never going to get it right. This is an unsolvable problem and a paralysing moment in a conversation. So just stop trying so hard. Stop trying to be clever, funny, or overly intellectual. Do yourself and your match a favor and say what you want to say kindly and honestly. Think about your intention first: do you want to compliment them? Do it (respectfully, please). Want to talk about a picture in their profile? Ask them a question about it - they picked that photo for a reason and it definitely has a story behind it.

Bottom line: communicate your intention clearly and kindly. Ask questions, listen, respond. Good luck out there.

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