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December 1, 2021

How To Be the Best Partner Ever

Below are what I consider to be the 10 Traits of the Best Partner Ever: someone who is secure, stable, reliable, loving, and an all-around pleasure to date. These people are not mythical unicorns! They exist, and in fact, you can become one of them. If you want to evolve into the absolute best partner you can be, keep this list close and practice it in your relationship every day.  

1) You are a great conflict-buster. During a conflict you listen calmly and respond gently; you don’t react impulsively or get defensive, nor do you clam up and say nothing. You prevent the situation from escalating by listening, understanding, and talking calmly. It is not you versus your partner; it is you and your partner versus the issue. 

2) You are a pro communicator.  You express your feelings freely. You ask for what you want and need. You are 1000% honest; you never lie, speak in vague terms, or omit information. You are vulnerable and open. You don’t hide what is on your mind, nor do you accuse or attack your partner. 

3) You don't operate from your Ego. You can take criticism and you are willing to reconsider your ways and apologize if/when necessary. You take responsibility for your misdeeds. You come from a place of compassion and humility, not proving a point or needing to be right. It is almost impossible to have a successful relationship with a person who is combative, argumentative, and self-righteous. Do not be that person. 

4) You do not play games. You are serious, you know what you want, and you're not here to mess around. You do not have time for childish mind games. You say what you mean and mean what you say, and expect the same in return. 

5) You are comfortable with emotional closeness. You want to be close to your partner: emotionally, physically, and spiritually. You expect that you and your partner will be emotionally reliant upon each other; you are comfortable depending on them, and they on you. 

6) You forgive the little things easily. Think of how you act toward a small child who made a mistake. You would tell him/her why their mistake was not okay, but you would assume their intentions are good and therefore forgive them quickly. Let go of the little things; Holding onto a grudge will only hurt you and the relationship as a whole. 

7) You view sex and emotional intimacy as one. You create closeness with your partner by viewing sex and intimacy as one connected experience, not as two separate entities. Sex is a highly connected experience for you and for your partner: physically, emotionally, and spiritually. 

8) You treat your partner like royalty. Constant love, affection, admiration, warmth, honesty, trust, and respect. It is a constant priority for you to make your partner feel loved, respected, and appreciated. 

9) There are no opposites in your relationship. You don’t tell your partner “I love you” one day and “I can’t stand you” the next day. You don’t feel like you are on Cloud 9 one day and feel anxious and abandoned the next day. There are no high highs and low lows. Your relationship is a sailboat on still waters; not a defective high-speed roller coaster.

10) You are RRR: Receptive, Responsive, Reliable. You are receptive to your partner's emotional needs when they are upset. You respond to their phone calls and texts when they contact you. You show up when you say you are going to show you. Your words and your actions are aligned. You are consistently dependable and reliable. 

Kevin from the Keys Team 

Professional Dating & Relationship Coach

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