Are you giddily making plans now that things are beginning to return to normal, or are you scared to envision a future after the traumatic surprises of the past year (and a half)? I personally find myself guarding against future disappointment. I’ll make plans, but I’ll make too many for any of them to truly be feasible, and I fully expect them to fall through, so that I don’t lose my mind and break my heart when they do. It can feel scary to think too far ahead, because if you did so last year, you likely got burnt. We lost jobs, we lost people, we lost the sense that the future could be made to conform to our desires. Everything past the next month is a nebulous darkness that we’re afraid to press into, and for some of us, it takes a lot of optimism to envision the future and plan for it.
That jumpy pessimism can easily translate to our love lives, and how we approach people and relationships. So, how are you thinking about the future vis a vis your dating life? Has the arrival of vaccines and the lifting of many restrictions left you racing toward the future, making plans and hoping to find lasting love? Or are you taking it day by day, enjoying someone’s company without thinking about where the liaison will take you or what it could become? If you’re having trouble thinking about the future. That’s OK. Put your energy into getting to know people authentically and generating joy and optimism wherever you can. Ask tough questions, make people laugh, and keep an open mind for good things to come.