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December 1, 2021

What Do I Really Want In A Partner? Answer These Questions

When I begin working with a new client, the first question we attack together is: What type of person do you want to be, and what do you want to bring to your relationship? Once we have that figured out, we move onto the next question: What type of person do you want to be with, and what would you like them to bring to the relationship? 


Of course, we all want the basics: someone who is kind, honest, trustworthy, attractive, et cetera. But let’s go a few levels deeper. What specific traits and characteristics in another person would be the right match for you? How would your ideal relationship meet your emotional needs and make you feel? 


Figuring out what you truly want in another person, as clearly and specifically as possible, will be your greatest time-saving asset in dating -- allowing you to determine quickly whether the other person fits your vision, or whether you should keep moving. 


In order to determine what you really want in a partner, the questions below are the ones you need to think about. Sitting down with a pen and paper, envision your hypothetical ideal person/relationship and answer these questions: 

  1. What are their values? What would they teach your children are the most important things in life?
  2. How were they raised? What is their backstory?
  3. What is most important to them  in life? Career, family, friends, personal growth? 
  4. How do they make you feel when you are physically together? 
  5. How do they make you feel when you are physically apart? 
  6. What kinds of things do you do together?
  7. What kind of parent will they be? 
  8. What is their approach to sex, alcohol, and drugs?
  9. How do you show each other that you love each other?
  10. How do you show each other that you are listening to each other?
  11. How often do you communicate with each other on a daily basis?
  12. How do you resolve conflict when you two are fighting? 
  13. How do you handle business decisions and finances? Which decisions do you make together and which do you make separately?
  14. How do you help each other grow? 
  15. Who is the person you have to become in order to receive this amazing partner and relationship?

Kevin from the Keys Team 

Professional Dating & Relationship Coach


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